It's not all about sex!

What do men want? It may seem like there's only one answer to that question -- "sex" -- but men are actually a bit more complicated than that. Surveys of men show a variety of things that turn them on when it comes to women they're dating. Here are five to keep in mind as you navigate the pitfalls of single life.

1. Take care of yourself.

Yes, men like breasts and butts. And yes, there's only so much you can (or should) do about those areas. You are who you are, physically and mentally, and you shouldn't change yourself dramatically for anyone.

What we're talking about here are little things that can make a big difference in your appearance. Always being dressed in nice, decent clothes, having fresh breath, having clean hair (but not over-styled -- men like simple when it comes to hair), shaving your armpits and legs regularly, and so forth.

It doesn't mean you have to be a size 2 and go to the gym every day. It just means taking care of the body you have and going out of your way to be fresh and clean when you see him.

2. Let him know he's #1 with you.

While men don't like women who are subservient and docile, they do like to know that they're important to you. Men are as insecure about relationships as women are, if not more so.

He probably won't want to talk about the relationship and define it and label it, but he does want to know where he stands.

Let him know by leaving cute love notes for him or by calling him at the office to say hello. He wants to know that while you have your own life to lead, you're taking time to think about him, too.

It will also make him more likely to make the same kind of sweet gestures for you in return, once you've opened the door for such things.

3. Be confident.

You may not look like a supermodel or have the body of a porn star. You may not be the smartest, prettiest, or sexiest woman you know. But damn it, you're not half-bad, either!

Guys love a woman who's confident in herself. Not cocky or arrogant or snotty, but confident. Smile when you enter a room. Don't look nervous in new surroundings. Act like you're completely happy with your body and personality, even if you're not. Men notice the difference.

When you present ideas to your partner, state them with confidence. Don't always defer to, "Whatever you want to do is fine" when discussing plans together. Give your opinions! When he asks what you'd like to do this weekend, give a suggestion.

Often, women are afraid to be too bold in their opinions, mistakenly believing men want their ladies to be quiet and humble. What men actually say they want in polls and studies is a woman who will speak her mind and be a true PARTNER in the relationship.

4. Be independent.

Speaking of being a true "partner," here's another tip that men find incredibly attractive: Have a life. It's disconcerting to meet someone and get the impression she didn't exist before you came into her life, but that's what it feels like for some men.

They meet women who don't go out, don't socialize much, don't do much of anything outside of work. That's not a partner, that's a Barbie doll!

By the same token, if you already do have a life, don't shut it down when a man comes into your world. Continue to hang out with your friends, dedicate energy to your job, and all the other things you used to do. Don't be so career-oriented that you don't have ANY time to be with your partner, but don't completely turn everything else off for him, either.

Men like women with backbone. If you occasionally can't be with him because of other obligations, it will make the times you CAN be with him seem all the sweeter. If you're at his beck and call 24 hours a day, well, where's the fun in that?

5. Have a sense of humor.

Don't be afraid to crack a joke. Our society places great importance on funny men but rarely on funny women, and so women are often get the subconscious message that jokes are for guys to tell. But it's just not true. Men love it when women can make jokes as well as they can. Avoid being dirty or using profanity -- men appreciate ladylike behavior -- but if he makes a one-liner about the bad service in the restaurant, don't hesitate to offer one of your own, too. Partners love to be able to tease each other playfully.

What if you're just not that funny a person? You can still have a sense of humor by appreciating other people's jokes. If he says something funny, or if something funny happens nearby, don't be afraid to laugh.

Again, the old-fashioned ideas of women laughing demurely and daintily, covering their mouths with their hands, are outdated. If it's funny, LAUGH. Don't be shy, don't be coy. Just laugh. Laughter is one of the great tools in any relationship. It's one of the greatest sounds in the world. Let him hear it from you.

No one has yet worked out ALL the secrets of how to make men happy. But these tips are a start, some simple ways you can be your best self and make him see what a great partner you can be.

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