I get requests for advice every day. The questions range from the simple questions like, "How do I get him to notice me," to the serious dilemmas like, "My husband cheated on me....what should I do?" Over the past 6 years, I've noticed that most of the requests focus on what tricks, techniques, or actions a woman can employ to:

1. Get a man to notice her
2. Make him attracted to her
3. Make him want to do what she wants to do

All of these request are possible, but not in the ways these women are asking. Many want a single thing they can say or do that will magically get a man to do what they want, like a magic wand.

Their view of dating often follows this pattern:

• Tell me how to act a certain way so that I can attract him to me.
• If I can attract him to me, we'll date and then he'll fall in love with me.
• If I can get him to fall in love with me, then I can relax and be myself because he loves me.

Here's the problem: the way you act when you're dating is the way he'll expect you to act...forever. Once he falls in love with you, he isn't going to understand if you start sharing both your fears and insecurities with him if you've never done that before. Instead, he'll feel tricked. In his mind he'll think, "Hey, where's the cool chick that I fell in love with? She never disagreed with me and almost always said yes to what I wanted. Why did she get so needy?"

In an attempt to "be what he wants," a woman can give the man the wrong impression. She can accidentally give him the idea that she's so strong that she doesn't need much or any emotional support.

There is a better way.

There are those rare women who effortlessly attract men. They aren't perfect and don't waste time trying to achieve such a silly goal. Rather they know that doing things like showing anger to a man in the correct way makes them more attractive than the latest designer dress.

Let me show you how to put your heart first, and ahead of any man. Too many women think that they can make men fall in love with them if they work to display certain types of behavior. Rarely does that alone work. The sexiest quality in any woman isn't that she never complains or is always happy. Rather, it is the ability to be authentic. Learning how to be authentic enables a woman to flow in the freedom of her feelings without overwhelming a man. Most importantly, men love it.

©2011

Show All Articles By Bob Grant