Considering that a minimum of 50% of all marriages wind up in divorce, it is no wonder why many couples are searching for ways of making a marriage work. Divorce can be hurtful, devastating, and pricey in several ways. Lives are greatly changed, and if there are kids, it could leave some extremely deep scars.

If your marriage is on the verge of ending, now is the time to sit back and think about what you can do to change things. Know you cannot wait for your significant other to change or to take progressive action. However, the good news is much of the time all that is required is one partner to make some positive changes to save a marriage that appears gone.

Keep reading for some helpful insights to making a marriage work. These four hints may appear small or unimportant, but they can help you take action and save your relationship:

• Do not pass judgment on your better half or complain about him/her or your marriage! This first hint is advice that will help both of you enormously if you are willing to put it into practice. Indeed, it is easier said than done, but fighting and complaining will only increase the division in your marriage, and that is precisely what you do not want if you are goal is to save your marriage.
  
  Whenever you notice yourself saying anything negative or complaining about your partner or your marriage, stop yourself right away. This requires a deliberate effort, so you must watch your thoughts and words. However once you begin doing it you will most likely see just how frequently you participate in this negative behavior. After all, who wants to be in a relationship with a person who whines, complains, or nitpicks? Cease and desist, and your partner may begin to warm up to you.
  
  
• The next piece of advice for making a marriage work is to concentrate on all the positive things in your marriage. This may appear very challenging initially, when all seems to be going wrong. However it is likely, things have not always been so awful (if so, then this may not be a marriage worth saving!).
  
  There were several things that attracted you to your partner and that you adored about your relationship when you first got together. Make note of all those things and stash it somewhere where you can look at it frequently. Concentrate on the positive and you will have a positive effect on your relationship.
  
  
• Along the same lines as the second piece of advice making a marriage work, search for ways you can authentically praise and flatter your spouse. We all truly want and need to feel appreciated and valued. When relationships go wrong, both people frequently stop appreciating each other and instead look for faults. Try the opposite (even if you really have to try hard!) Do not gush or go over the top, as that may appear insincere. However truly sincere appreciation and praise are strong weapons to have in your arsenal!
  
  
• Last, in regards to sound marital advice, one of the top things you can do is be patient and do not push your partner. Smoothly let him or her know that you are willing to do whatever it takes for making the marriage work. Make it apparent that you are open to talking and finding a solution to your problems. If communication has come to a screeching halt, let your spouse know that when he or she is prepared to talk, you are willing to really listen.

Certainly, there are tons of books created with an assortment of different ways for making a marriage work, however begin with these hints. This will show your spouse that your marriage means a lot to you and you are firm about making the required changes to make it work!

Stephen R. Ford
©2010

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