"The key is to get to know people and trust them to be who they are. Instead, we trust people to be who we want them to be and when they are not, we cry." -Anon

I hear it so often, "But what happened, it was so good in the beginning?" Duh! What happened was reality set in and now you're getting a glimpse of the "real" person that emerges. Of course it's always good in the beginning! The person has their best foot forward and they want to make all the right moves. It's new, it's exciting, it's all about the exploration phase.

Then the truth unfolds right before you very eyes. Sometimes the relationship sustains a good steady flow. You may have minor little things occur but they pass with ease. Or, on the other hand you may see Red Flags whipping you in the face and you choose to ignore them and make excuses for them.

If you are in a relationship and it hasn't been all that long and you are seeing signs of things that make you feel bad or hurt your feelings, run for the hills. It is way too soon to be on the receiving end of little jibes, hurtful comments or inconsiderate behavior. If this person feels so bold as to let you have it now, what will it be like four years down the road?

Don't let the fun and newness loll you into a false sense that this is the perfect relationship. You don't just give your heart to someone without knowing that you can trust them with it. People need to earn your trust. When you start to see telltale signs of disrespect or anything that gives you the creeps learn how to protect yourself by realizing that they just went from being hired for the position to now being monitored on a trial basis!

Always remember one thing; actions speak louder than words and never forget it. People can be great at giving you lip service but when it comes time to deliver they fail miserably. They can convince you they are sorry but when the same behaviors continue with no relief, sorry just doesn't get it anymore.

It's up to you to tell yourself the truth when the truth is staring you in the face. If you choose to hide your head in the sand or make excuses, be prepared to live with the consequences. You have the ultimate say as to whether someone is worthy of spending time with you or they just don't quite make the cut.

Don't let your desire to have a relationship outweigh having one with someone who isn't worth your time. If you are in love with love and desperately wanting to be with someone, when the wrong person enters the scene you might not be able to see straight for all you will see is the relationship and not the person.

So if you find yourself in the beginning of a relationship and things are going good, keep on the path. If not, make sure you choose wisely because it's easier to get out now with less time invested than wasting a whole lot of precious time with the wrong person just because you wanted a relationship, regardless if it is good or bad.

Susan Russo
©2010

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