"You must do the things you think you cannot do."
-Eleanor Roosevelt

Ending a relationship is never easy. But many times we are so mired in the emotional pain, that we can think straight, which causes us to make some bad choices. For those of you who are struggling with putting you head back on straight, follow the below "Do's and Don'ts" when your common sense isn't so common.

1. DON'T CALL HIM/HER

Many people get caught up in this cycle. The relationship is over, the person you loved hasn't called and it's driving you absolutely crazy and...you are just dying to call them. Don't give into this because it will not lead to the outcome you're looking for, call anyone else, just DON'T CALL HIM/HER.

2. DON'T SEE HIM/HER JUST ONE MORE TIME

Seeing them just one more time will only put you back to square one, and, who wants to prolong the agony? It's painful to say good-bye to someone you've loved and it's even more painful to do it over and over again. You are going to have to get over it anyway, why not do it sooner rather than later?

3. DON'T SECOND-GUESS YOURSELF

It's not like you woke up one day and said, "I'm so happy, I think I'll end it." It's over for a reason. If you ended it, my guess is that you had your reasons. Don't let them try to entice you back with promises of how much they'll change, typically, these promises are short lived.

4. DON'T WALLOW IN IT

There is a certain amount of time that is necessary to mourn the loss of someone we love. It is a process that you must go through to get to the other side. But, whenever this time lasts longer than normal, you may find yourself wallowing in self pity and that will not only make you feel worse, it will also prolong your healing.

5. DON'T THINK HE/SHE WILL CHANGE

What you see is what you've always gotten and what you will continue to get. Many people make the mistake of believing they can change someone. The only person you can change is yourself. So when you think you can change them, think again.

6. LET IT OUT AND LET IT GO

Don't feel bad for feeling bad. You have to mourn your loss. So, make sure you let it out, so you can let it go. Do your crying now so you can dry your tears for when the real Mr./Mrs. Right does come along.

7. STAY BUSY

At first you may not feel like it, but after the initial shock wears off start looking for things to keep you busy. Now is the time to call in the troops; your friends, family etc. Do something, do anything, just keep on moving on.

8. LOOK FORWARD AND LEAVE THE PAST BEHIND

Just because your relationship is over doesn't mean your life is over. Decide what you want your future to look like and then stay focused on it, not the past. Sometimes things just don't work out the way, let go of what was and look forward to what can be.

9. BE GOOD TO YOURSELF

You may want to beat yourself up over what went wrong or wonder what would've happened if you had done things differently. Now is not the time to be hard on yourself. Treat yourself, pamper yourself, and just take a little extra care of yourself. You'll be glad you did.

10. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF AGAIN, BELIEVE IN YOUR FUTURE AND KNOW THAT YOU REALLY WILL GET BEYOND THIS!!!

Don't do things that will make you feel bad, do what will help you to heal your broken heart. You are the only one who can make a difference. Decide to put the past behind you and move on. Remember, we get what we expect. Begin today and expect the best. Live your life knowing that everything is going to work out and it will!

Read more about it in the book, "There Is Life After What's-His-Name"

Susan Russo
©2009

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