"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer and wish we didn't." -Erica Jong

Everybody wants to be politically correct and say the right things. You have to tip toe around the reality of hard truths and watch that you don't hurt anyone's feelings.

There are times when the words that you speak and what you are thinking, are two entirely different things, all in the name of being polite and professional.

For the first time, what you are about to experience is the brutal, cold truth about how to get over the end of your relationship, let go and move on.

Some people simply can't handle the truth; they are just too delicate and fragile. On the other hand, maybe if they are slapped in the face with reality, they will finally wake-up. Get ready for you are about to enter the "Relationship Advice Gone Wild Zone."

Statement: I'm crying my eyes out, I just can't stop thinking of them. I feel so hurt and I don't know what to do.

Advice: Cry your fool head off and get it out. Cry and cry some more and then be done with it. Do you honestly think you won't ever get over this jerk? They left you didn't they? So why on Gods' good earth would you want them back? Do you really want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you? Hello...nothing like forcing someone to be with you, I'm sure that's just what you've always wanted!

Statement: I just want to call them one more time.

Advice: That's great, is your phone ringing? NO! So what do plan to accomplish by calling them? What's your point? Don't you get it? They aren't picking the phone up to call you. So what are you going to do? Be a pest or a stocker, not to mention...have a little pride. Or, better yet, why don't you call them and beg them back. If they aren't calling you, why would you ever give them the satisfaction of calling them? It's over-so get over it.

Statement: I love them and I didn't want this to end, do you think they feel bad that it's over?

Advice: First of all, no kidding you love them. Anybody who could dump you and you still want them, now that's real love. Or is it desperation? Sure, you probably did love them, but the problem is that; you weren't being loved back. It' time to get over the shock, pick up the pieces and face the cold hard truth...they're gone. I know that's not what you want to hear, but sorry, that's reality. Now you have to deal with it the best way you know how. As far as them feeling bad, well I hate to break it to you but...they may have a twinge of guilt, but let's face it, they left didn't they? So my guess is that they aren't feeling that bad, more than likely they are going about the business of getting on with their life, just like you need to do.

Statement: I want them to feel bad.

Advice: I know you want them to feel bad, but they may never feel bad. By holding onto thoughts of revenge or wishing ill will on someone is not only bad karma-you are the only one it hurts. You know, sometimes life just isn't fair, but the best revenge is living a good life. Quite simply, you are wasting your time wishing for something that may never happen. Plus, you will never really know for sure. So let it go, don't let it eat you alive. It's your choice.

Believe me the list goes on. Your emotions have gone wild in trying to get over whatever their name was. Let's face it. You have to get over it anyway, so what are you waiting for? Don't tell me, you're holding out hope that they'll come back. Even though that's a normal reaction, again, it's a waste of time. You might as well stare the truth in the face and say, "I'm not going to let this ruin my life, I'm done. If they don't want me someone else will." Then go about not only living it, but also believing it.

Read more about it in the book, "There Is Life After What's-His-Name"

Next Relationship Advice Gone Wild II

Susan Russo
©2009

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