"How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives." -Annie Dillard

By an overwhelming response we are back to facing the cold hard truths of getting over someone we love. If you can handle the truth and you want to get over it sooner rather than later, read on.

No one is saying that it's easy, but it's a lot easier than you're making it. The fact is; it's inevitable. You're going to have to get over it anyway, so you might as well take the quick and less painful route, as opposed to trudging down Heartbreak Lane.

The first reality is...it's a choice. I know you may find that hard to believe but once you go through the stages of healing your broken heart, depending on how long you feel the pain, is actually your choice.

Without further ado, let's get started with Advice Gone Wild II.

I'll never love anyone like I loved him/her.

Advice: What a loss. Why would you allow yourself to believe this? Wasn't there at least one other person in your past that you thought you would never get over? And, lo and behold, you got over them, didn't you? Don't set yourself up to feel bad. Sure, you loved them, but once you get out and begin to live a little "them" will be a thing of the past.

I can't stop thinking of him/her.

Advice: Oh yes you can. You can't think of two things at the same time so start to keep yourself as busy as possible. Every time you start to think of them, STOP YOURSELF and say, "It's over and everyday I'm getting stronger." You have to do something that is going to help yourself in letting go. It's a matter of time when you will let go, why not just do it right now?

Who am I going to meet? I'll never meet anyone.

Advice: You met him/her didn't you? There are about 6 billion, yes, that's billion, people in the world and you can't meet just one? Come on, of course you're going to meet someone. Quit lying to yourself. It's not a matter of whom you will meet; it's a matter of when you will meet them. When fill your head with this kind of garbage, how do you expect to feel?

What's wrong with me that they didn't love me?

Nothing! The fact is, sometimes things just don't work out the way we planned. All relationships take TWO people to make it or break it. If someone chooses to leave you, for whatever reason, you simply have to face reality and pick up the pieces of your life and move on. If someone isn't on the same page as you, if they have a different agenda, then the only thing wrong with you is if you continue to hold onto something that's dead and gone.

How will I ever get over this?

You will get over it the same way everyone else does; one step at a time. You will get over it when you continue to take the right steps and do the right things that will help you heal your broken heart. If you tell yourself that it's too hard, or you will never get over it, guess what? You're right. What you tell yourself about any given situation is exactly how you will experience it. Unless, you choose to stay stuck, you will be over it sooner than you think...hang in there!

So when you're feeling sorry for yourself and looking for the answers, look no further. You hold the key to either moving on with your life, by doing the right things or you can throw away the key and remain a prisoner forever. It's your choice. Keep yourself focused on where you want to go, not on where you were, and before you know it, you won't need any more advice.

Read more about it in the book, "There Is Life After What's-His-Name"

Previous Relationship Advice Gone Wild

Susan Russo
©2009

Show All Articles By Susan Russo