Rejection is one of the worst experiences anyone can go through. The pain of rejection is not quickly forgotten - but is it hopeless?

I asked an expert on relationships, Marius Panzarella, to provide the man's point of view. But first, a warning:

Marius understands what causes relationships to break down, and he has helped tens of thousands of readers. But Marius does not coddle anyone. So if you want a shoulder to cry on regarding the breakup, or you want to obsess over it, Marius is not going to allow you to waste your time like that. He cuts to the chase.

I asked him to provide some breakup advice - tips about what to do and what NOT to do when a relationship is heading down that slippery slope. His advice applies to both men and women.

Marius tells us that when it comes to breakups, focus first on what NOT to do.

"If you're trying to get an ex back," says Marius, "here are the 'don'ts':"

1) Do NOT fight with him. Fighting ALWAYS creates tension and kills attraction. Fighting with an ex is useless. Even if you win the argument, you will still lose the war.

2) Do NOT try to use logic to "convince" him to stay or come back to you. Love is based on FEELINGS, not logic. No matter how brilliant your logic is, he's still going to leave you.

3) Do NOT reassure your ex that you have "changed" or that things will be "different from now on." It's like trying to bail water out of a sinking boat. It won't work. The hole will still be there.

4) Do NOT keep telling him that you love him. He doesn't care. All he cares about is how much HE loves YOU...not the other way around!

5) Do NOT beg him to come back. The more you beg, the more you will push him away.

6) Do NOT try to make him feel guilty about leaving you. (Examples: "I can't live without you." and "Don't break up with me during my exam period...") It won't work. It will only make him DREAD being with you even more.

7) Do not act depressed to make him feel bad for you. Sympathy does NOT equal ATTRACTION!

8) Do NOT talk to his friends to win their support. All he cares is how HE feels about you. Even if his friends love you, they can't make him love you forever. External pressure never lasts for long. If your man decides to stay with you, his motivation has to come from WITHIN.

9) Do NOT cry in front of him. While he may hug you, he will be proud that he has so much power over you...and move on to another woman.

10) Do NOT push him into getting back with you. The more you push, the more he will PULL AWAY.

"These are the most common mistakes people make during a breakup," says Marius. "Trust me, you don't want to do ANY of these things. If you do, I can guarantee you your relationship will be doomed. You probably won't even get a chance to kiss your sweetheart goodbye, let alone get that person back. I deal with dozens of breakup cases every week, so I KNOW what I am talking about!"

Marius is the only author I know who actually spends literally hours every day answering emails from his readers personally. He says, "The good news is that most breakup cases are 'reversible'."

For more advice from Marius Panzarella on how to save your relationship and turn a rejection around in your favor, see http://www.rejectioninfo.com - Marius tells you the truth about why a breakup REALLY happens - so don't say I didn't warn you!

Mimi Tanner
©2006

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