It's amazing that love has the strange power of turning its victims into jabbering toddlers who use simple sentence structures and childish nicknames in each other's presence. But this peculiar transformation eventually occurs in every close relationship. It marks a wonderful stage of intimacy when a couple begins to use pet names, however much it might unnerve the outside world. But these names can also cause conflicts and extreme offence if handled in the wrong way. The last thing you want is to accidentally let an affectionate gesture turn into a potential break-up situation.

So, whether you've met on dating sites or through friends, if you're planning to cross the boundary into 'pet name' territory, make sure you follow these crucial dos and don'ts:

DO know when to use a pet name...

As I've already mentioned, pet names should be used at a time in your relationship when you're perfectly comfortable with each other. Therefore, springing a special name on someoneyou've beendatingfor two weeks could be enough to scare them off. Don't strike too early. Also, when you've developed the habit of calling your partner by this name, know the appropriate circumstances in which to use it. Midway through an argument, for example, would not be a good place.

DO focus on something personal...

The last thing you want to do is choose a generic pet name that anyone, anywhere could be using with their sweetheart. Tryto be original and choose something that is truly unique to your other half.

DO try to keep them to yourselves...

Trying to keep pet names original is probably one of the main reasons some of them can be very bizarre. That's fine: just make sure this insanity is kept to yourselves. You'll get some very strange looks if you go about calling each other 'booboo' in public! Plus, pet names are special and personal and should be secret, affectionate words worth keeping private.

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DON'T reuse a pet name...

Reusing a pet name from a previous relationship is a big no-no. Firstly, your partner will be devastated if they ever find out you used to use this personaltitle for someone else.Secondly, you'll inevitably be thinking about your ex whenever you use this name, which could potentially taint your current relationship. A classic example of this is in Legally Blonde where in an excruciating moment Warner calls his new girlfriend Vivian'Pooh Bear', a name we have already heard him use on Elle.

DON'T centre on physical attributes...

It's always best to avoid a name that centres on physical attributes, as this can be seen as a little demeaning. Good examples of this are 'lovely legs', 'luscious lips', 'sexy' or 'babe'. The obvious sexual connotations of these labelscould cause offence and suggestyou're not taking the relationship particularly seriously. Stick to 'gorgeous' 'lovely' or 'beautiful', which are more wholesome ways to describe attractiveness.

DON'T use potentially offensive comparisons...

Although you may find Bridget Jones incredibly attractive, your partner may well not, and could be very understandably offended if you start calling her 'Bridget'. Stick to comparisons that everyone recognises as complimentary. You may want to ask other people's opinion on this if you're choosing a comparative pet name.

It doesn't matter if you're in Manchester online dating or in London double dating: make sure you stick to these rules when using pet names!

Steve Davis
©2011

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