The art of persuasion isn't new to the dating world and the concept is really quite simple. You have to create a need for the person, ensure they realize the need, help them figure out how to fulfill that need and then fill that need for them.

The basics of persuasion are primarily that you have to be you and you have to make yourself the need of the other person. This works for both men and women and works on the opposite sex well.

First of all-you have to make a good first impression. You should be clean, healthy and in good repair (meaning your hair should be clean and brushed, your teeth clean, your general appearance clean, neat and tidy). You need to make yourself something worthy of being desired-attractive and clean. This is part of the persuasion-being desirable.

Be a nice person-if part of your first impression is you at your worst or not at your best, you will be less desirable to the other person. Turn on your best you-not a fake someone who you aren't, but the real you that is on your best behavior.

Know how to be a friend to the other person and start there. Relationships are built on friendships that are solid. Be who you are, admit that you have faults and aren't perfect. Persuade the other person that you are the half they are missing. Find out what they like and dislike, share yourself with them so they get to know the real you.

Persuading people is the art of making them believe what you are selling is what they want. Natural associations happen in our brains-people get hungry and tired, people also react to things that are pleasant, which is why you need to be pleasant. If you are brash or uncouth, no amount of persuading is going to do the job-you've sent a psychological signal that you are unattractive to the person you are trying to persuade.

Find out who you are persuading-know them, learn about them, ask them questions. By focusing your attention on them and them only you will accomplish a few things. One, you will learn what you need to know about them to further persuade them to do what you want them to do, like fall in love with you or go out on a date. Second, you will be seen in a more favorable light by the person because you are paying attention to them without distraction and thirdly, you will gain their trust by focusing on their needs and responding appropriately.

Once you know the person, then you have the tools to persuade them. You know who they are and what they want-you know what is pleasurable for them and what isn't. Then, you can play to the aspects of yourself that are pleasurable to the other person.

Don't forget to be real-you can only persuade so far, but if you are putting on a false front, no amount of persuasion will change who you really are. If you put up a false front, eventually, you will have to show the person who you really are, that is unless you can put up a false front forever (which, by the way, is impossible). Once you break into the 'real you', you will lose the trust and rapport you've built with the person completely-again, no amount of persuasion will win them back if you've lost or broken trust.

Trust is important, when someone tells you who they are, they are trusting you with that information-trusting that you will use it against them to be more amicable with them. If someone tells you they hate public displays of affection, for example, you would only break their trust if you hung off their arm and kissed them in public. Keeping the trust is important in any relationship-breaking it will lead to a break in the relationship as a whole.

Don't underestimate the power of direct persuasion-words like you want, you will feel, will help them begin to think in those terms...keep it pleasing, for example "you want to feel my lips against yours'. Of course, the image that pops into their head is their lips on yours-they can't help it-this will elicit a pleasurable response, just what you were aiming for.

Aim for the pleasure zone and you can have anyone you want eating out of the palm of your hand. Remember to elicit the thoughts in their brains that you want them to have-when you say pink elephants-people visualize pink elephants.

©2006

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