Have you ever been paralyzed by fear? Not the fear that comes from discovering a bear standing in your path while hiking, the fear that comes from discovering you owe the IRS a huge amount of money and having no idea how you're going to pay it, or the fear that comes from learning that your spouse is divorcing you and you haven't a clue what to do next, or the fear that comes when you've just lost your job.

I can identify with this. I've had all these things happen. And each time I've felt as if I've been kicked in the gut, and then wondered, 'What now, what do I do?' The list of things that we encounter in life that can shock us into a state of paralyzed fear is long. But there are steps we can take when these types of situations occur to get ourselves back up off the floor and moving productively through life again.

Let's take a look:

• First, if you have to sit down and cry for a while, or hit pillows with your fists, do that. Heading to the bar to get falling down drunk, or spending every bit of cash in your account is not a good idea right now!


• Next, take a walk in the park, see a good movie, play with the kids or the dog, cook a wonderful meal or do some other pleasant activity. Do whatever you look to as an enjoyable, relaxing time. Realize that you can actually spend the next hour or two or even day or so just letting the BIG PROBLEM sit (this is assuming it's not the type of problem that requires IMMEDIATE action). Give yourself a bit of time to let your mind naturally clear itself.


• Next, sit down and either write, type, or talk it out with a trusted friend. Ask yourself 'What do I need to do to get things back on track?' and 'What do I need to do to protect myself from further damage as a result of this?' Start brainstorming on possible solutions - no idea on how to proceed is too silly or far-fetched. Just start letting the process of solving the problem flow. Remember, revenge is never a good idea - ever. If you have a Higher Power that you look to for guidance, now is a good time to open yourself to the wisdom of that Higher Power.


• Get professional advice if this is something you can't handle on your own. Don't dilly-dally thinking it will fix itself. Problems seldom do, but require attention and action. Depending on the issue, you may need to call a lawyer, an accountant, a life coach, a minister or counselor or other professional. Now's not a good time to be shy. Take action. Don't hide. Start taking those steps, even if they are small. The smallest steps down the path will still lead to the place you need to be.


• Devise a plan by yourself or with help. Leave a little room for flexibility, but have a plan and make sure it's workable. Realize that the solution is going to take time and effort. You really need to commit yourself to getting through this in a productive, positive manner.
  
  Usually, by the time you've gotten to this part of the process you are starting to feel a little better and in more control of your life again.


• Make yourself accountable for following through with the solution. Again, sometimes it's good to have another person who will hold you accountable such as a coach, or other professional.


• Congratulate yourself on taking positive steps and continue to encourage yourself to stay with the program you've come up with to get through this difficult situation.

Remember, life throws curve balls at us on a regular basis. Sometimes we even cause our own problems! But how we handle these unexpected and/or unwelcome events indicates how quickly and well we will recover. We all have the strength and courage inside us to move our lives to the next highest level, and we can all learn from trying moments if we allow ourselves to.

©2008

Show All Articles By Lee Ann Lambert