Finding a good relationship is not always easy. When we do find a potential match we begin with that magical question: can this person be the one? But then, as the relationship progresses, sometimes we question what we have. When do we know that it is not meant to be?

We long to find that soul-mate experience, being with someone who understands us, and accepts us as we are. Being in a relationship means being open to another, and it puts us in a potentially vulnerable space. Can questioning that mean we feel exposed, but it can also be the hidden discontent?

We want to make sure that we are with someone who is good for us, and beat those almost undeniable statistics. It is not all that uncommon to question whether or not we are with the right person. What is your gut level feeling?

How do we know how much of our relationship, or at least our perceptions, are in our head? Having a true, lasting relationship requires a level of agreement, and a shared reality.

Is there balance between the dream world where we create based on our wants and needs, and the real day to day reality? In a real relationship we are interacting with another person, with their own thoughts and dreams. For their own sake they must be true to their own perceptions, not live up to yours.

In any relationship there is a balance between the shared reality and our perception of the relationship. When we connect and truly love another it is because we have allowed ourselves to fit in that space. There is an open-ness within our heart, and our lives, to share with another.

The connection we have with another can be a life-long bond that is unbreakable, but it can also be delicate and breakable, with only a misspoken word or the wrong action. Coming to an understanding of your past-based desires can bring you to greater clarity in your present relationship and the person who stands before you.

Estee Taschereau
©2010

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