One of the great lessons of love is known as the scarcity factor.

Plain and simple: people tend to want what they cannot have!

When things are hard to obtain, they seem more valuable!

One example is collector's items. The more rare something is, the more people think it is worth.

Have you seen what people will pay for a baseball card just because it's rare?

I personally paid $150 over the internet to buy an out-of-print book that was written in the 1950's - and I was thrilled to find this book.

The very same book was given to me a few weeks later by a public school librarian because no one had checked it out in at least fifteen years.

Obviously some people think that book is valuable - or the internet price would not have been so high - but for others, it was gathering dust and needed to be discarded.

It's called "perceived value."

How does this apply to relationships between men and women?

It really starts on the inside.

If you value yourself, it will show, and others will value you more, too.

If you value yourself, you will be focused on your own goals and activities - and less focused every waking minute on some guy.

I get a lot of email from women and girls who are spending enormous amounts of time thinking about a guy in their life, but who are not spending enormous amounts of time adding value to their own lives by learning and growing.

If you spend all your time reading women's magazines, watching TV, or gabbing with the girls, you're on a fast track to becoming one boring, boring person.

It's not about being self-absorbed or selfish - it's really about self-respect. The greatest gift you have is YOU. What you do with this gift will affect not only you, but literally thousands of people.

Whether you believe it or not, you are important. People know you and are aware of you - your presence is known. Your image is out there. You are somebody - right now.

Mimi Tanner
©2006

Show All Articles By Mimi Tanner