I recently spoke to a single friend who had been attracting several interesting and physically attractive men. She had enjoyed an intimate friendship with each of them and was puzzled that whenever she wanted to become physically intimate somehow they disappeared. During our talk it became clear that she had allowed herself to become infatuated with each of them before they left. So what is infatuation and why is it so dangerous? The definition of infatuation is "a foolish and usually extravagant passion or love or admiration". This can lead to an entangled web of misconceptions and disappointments.

When we experience this kind of admiration we often feel "inferior" on a deep level. We put the other person on a pedestal. On an energetic level we are subconsciously saying to ourselves that we do not really deserve this person or do not truly feel worthy of them. This alone is enough to drive any good man away. Even if they do not know why, they will pick up on our feelings of inferiority and become less and less attracted.

Men will become aware that we do not love them for who they really are, and fear we will find out that they are not matching up to our idealized image of them and will leave them. In addition to this, often when we feel inferior our ego will try and find a reason to feel better about ourselves. So we begin to either see the real person who is not as perfect as we felt, or we begin to subconsciously look for real or imagined flaws. Either one of these will lead to resenting our partner. And nobody likes to be with someone who resents them on a deep level.

Yet another twisted way the ego can attempt to feel better is to look for a reason to feel superiour ourself. Let's say we feel inferior in the area of physical attractiveness, but because of our exceptionally developed intellect we allow ouself to feel superior in our intelligence. This together is a recipe for disaster. Our men will feel our condescending energy and we will begin to resent him for our perceived lack of his intellect.

So how can we avoid infatuation altogether?

In the early stages of any relationship it is especially tempting for women to idealize men and become infatuated. Here are a few tips to bypass this trap well beforehand:

1. Focus on increasing Self-Worth

Before entering any new relationship or during our existing one let's continuously focus on nurturing our self-worth by appreciating ourself in as many ways as possible. Let's focus on our strengths and be kind to ourself about our perceived shortcomings.

2. Commit to an Equal Partner

Let's make a conscious choice and promise to ourself to only attract a man who is our equal on every level. There is absolutely no reason why we would want to be with someone superior if we value ourself highly.

3. Appreciate Ourself and our Partner Objectively

Let's look out for the signs of infatuation and appreciate our man's good aspects in a healthy way that does not involve us putting ourself down or feeling superior in another area. For example we could compliment him on an area that we feel he excels at, and if we feel any lack in this area let's be grateful for the opportunity to learn and improve ourself. Also we want to remind ourself of any of our strong sides at the same time. Let's marvel without judging at how beautifully we can complement eachother in certain areas.

Once we fully understand and become aware that infatuation is steering us away from the truly fulfilling love we want and deserve, it will loose its damaging grip on us.

With love and highest regards from Susanne

Show All Articles By Susanne Meis

Susanne Meis, MLCHom, Founder of www.orangelily.net
Author of "Kinetikus - The Story of a Divine Lover"

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Kinetikus

"Kinetikus is magical, heart-felt, wise, raunchy and impossible to put down." A. Belton, Author

Kinetikus is a highly sensual and transportive novel, revealing the keys to discovering true love, creating deep intimacy and feeling vibrantly alive.

• It is a perfect and unique gift to yourself and your loved ones
• At under 140 pages anyone can enjoy reading it easily
• It is deliciously sensual and transportive
• It inspires and energizes you
• It helps you to attract true love
• It contains wisdom and truths relevant to all of us
• It is based on a true story and written from the heart

The Author, Susanne Meis, MLCHom, is a popular speaker on soulmates, love and relationships and has been featured in various newspapers and on international radio.

"I was a little anxious about reading Kinetikus. I have not sat down and committed myself to a book since the birth of my daughter - four years ago! When I sat down I planned to read the first few opening pages. Two hours later I was gripped by 'Kinetikus the story of a Divine Lover', the journey and the strong messages I was receiving whilst reading it. The story is powerful and will relate to every human being alive. It made me sit up and realise that relationships are ever evolving, and that the first day to the last of a relationship is of equal importance. I have since taken some time to really think about both my past and present relationships and now feel that I have gained closure on the old and inspiration for the new. A wonderful read, and a truly magical experience. Thank you Susanne"

R. Keane,
Company Director

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