Recently, I've heard from a number of women that have had suspicions about their partner being faithful in their relationship. Some wonder if they are simply being paranoid, while others deeply feel that their partner is being unfaithful.

When a woman is scared, it's easy to misread certain signals as signs that he is indeed doing what you fear. In psychological language this is called Conformation Bias. A Confirmation Bias occurs when we are looking for something we believe it true. As a result, we tend to see it, even if it really isn't there.

A wife, who assumes her husband's is cheating, gets a confirmation when he doesn't answer the phone immediately. The truth is that he may have been in a meeting or perhaps his cell phone had poor reception.

In another instance, a man may feel a woman is being unfaithful when she is on the phone with someone that he doesn't know. This can happen just because she is talking to a friend he has never met. Or it may even be someone she doesn't really care for and simply did not want to waste time discussing with him. In order to avoid Conformation Bias in a relationship, it's really helpful to know the true warning signs about a man that indicate that he really is starting to stray.

1) Has his behavior changed recently? I mean noticeably. What you're looking for is a pattern of acting in a way that is markedly different than the person you know.

2) Does he avoid physical touch? This can mean anything from kissing to sex. When a man is in love with a woman, his natural inclination is to touch her. Now keep in mind that this varies from man to man. However, whatever your man's pattern of romantic touch is, if this drops for a period of weeks, then pay attention.

3) Does he have less patience with you? Particularly when he is upset? I am not asking whether or not he is easy going. Here is what you are looking for- when you and he have a disagreement, is he more irritated or upset than normal? When a man is having an affair, he doesn't have the emotional investment in his relationship to want to work out disagreements. He just wants to be left alone. Next issue: What should you do if you think he's having an affair?

Bob Grant
©2011

Show All Articles By Bob Grant