** Men only think of sex 150 times a day. Not 500 times as is widely reported.

** Not all men answer questions in one syllable.

** Men do not resent women that ask them out on a date. In fact, most men appreciate some agressive initiative from women once in a while.

** Not all good-looking or kind-hearted men are "already taken".

** It's o.k. to send a man flowers at work. Just make sure they're red, not pink.

** Men -like- practical gifts. Like food.

** When a man says, "I really love the way you look in long hair.", that isn't your cue to go out and cut it short.

** Never nag a man in front of his friends. It's a no-win situation for both of you.

** When a guy tells you, "You look beautiful.", don't argue with him hoping he'll repeat himself. This drives guys nuts.

** If you want to change a man's mind, you'll make a lot more progress with a few good, solid reasons than with hours of animated emotion.

** Most men consider 15 minutes of light-hearted, verbal sparring with a woman as a fun sport. Anything more than that, and things can take an ugly turn real quick. Best bet is to hug, kiss, and tell him you love him anyway.

** Not all men will like all recipes you find in the gardening section of the newspaper.

** Men would rather take out funky garbage than wash dishes.

** Most men are mentally challenged (retarded really) when it comes to folding clothes. So don't ask unless you've got the afternoon to kill teaching them.

** Never send a man to do a woman's job. (Getting feminine napkins at the grocery store.)

** Guys enjoy the challenge of getting lost and finding their way back on their own. Don't rob them of their moment of glory. That's what gas cards and freeway signs are for.

** If a man takes something apart and puts it back together with pieces left over.. it's the natural genius of re-engineering that has allowed him to accomplish this. (Just don't throw the extra parts away.)

** Men hate criss-crossing all over the grocery store. Start at one end of the store and zig-zag ONCE through every aisle and then leave. If you forget something, get it next week. That's the logical procedure. Learn it and add years to the life of your man.

** Most men will not wear cologne on a daily basis unless you submit the proper forms.

** If/when a man makes a bone-headed mistake, men do not think of it as consoling comfort to hear a woman gently say... "...you see, honey? I told you so."

©1999

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