Most of the time, getting your ex boyfriend back is easier than it seems right after the break up. The reason a lot of us mess it up is because we react on raw emotion and what was just a natural, temporary time out becomes permanent.

Don't become a drama queen!

It doesn't take a sociologist to see that in general, women are pretty comfortable with displays of emotion, whereas most guys just don't know how to handle them. When confronted with crying, the only thing a lot of guys want to do is run the other direction. Hardly the reaction you want when you're working on getting your ex boyfriend back.

Don't make it obvious!

While you were single, you were probably a pretty attractive confident gal who wasn't overly concerned with what any particular guy thought, right? That's exactly what your ex fell for.

Yet after a break up, so many women buy extra-sexy clothes, hit the clubs every, and in short become totally different people. By doing this, instead of making it look like you're over the guy, it makes it look like you're so desperate to get him back that you're willing to change your whole personality. Advertising your availableness is just as bad as sitting home crying.

Don't bug his friends!

If your ex isn't answering your phone calls or emails, the next obvious way to contact him is through his friends. All in all, this isn't a bad idea because his close friends do have a lot of power to sway his opinion about you. What is a bad idea is calling regularly calling every friend you know and begging them to ask your ex to contact you.

Instead, pick one or two of his friends and ask if they'd be willing to let your guy know that you're sorry about how things turned out, but that you still care about him and miss him. Leave it at that. If he wants to contact you, he will.

Don't play detective!

No matter how much you want to know how he's getting along without you, restrain your desire to spy on him. While you can't go to wrong asking a friend of his to convey a message from you, don't then go on to ask if your ex is still single, what he does on the weekend, or even how he seems to be feeling. It's not only impolite, it's also really annoying. Being annoying is not one of the best ways of getting your ex boyfriend back.

Don't ignore the "culture gap"!

Sure, men and women aren't really from different planets, but we do tend to look at relationships and emotions differently from the way guys do. If you want to get through to your man, respect those differences and put some effort into learning how men think about romantic matters. This may mean having a real heart-to-heart with a close male friend, but it can dramatically increase your chances of getting your ex boyfriend back.

If you need some sound advice on getting your ex boyfriend back, skip the drama mamma advice in the women's magazines and look for a proven plan developed by someone who knows what they're talking about.

Brian Bold
©2011

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