IN THIS EDITION: As women what do we do with a man who is interested in us and another woman? And how do we get a guy to pick us over her? Find out in this newsletter.

Dear Emily,

Thank you so much for your newsletters! I have a question... I am dating this guy who is dating me and another girl, how do I know if he is really interested in me? How can I make him more interested in me than the other girl? He is such an amazing catch but is it silly for me to wait around for him to decide what he wants? HELP!

Thanks,

Dana

Dear Dana,

I am happy that you wrote me. Your question on how to get your guy to pick you is one that many women are facing.

When you first meet a guy, he may be seeing other women at the time. After the two of you get to know each other, at some point he will have to decide to continue dating multiple women or become exclusive with you.

That's a given.

If you are looking for a life partner rather than just a series of casual flings, then you are very wise not to be willing to "wait around" should he prove not to have similar goals as you.

It's a great idea to spend the first few dates evaluating a man's long-term potential (as he no doubt is evaluating yours also).

But once you feel you have found a man with whom you'd like to pursue something more long-term, you need to communicate your expectations of an exclusive relationship to him effectively.

It's completely fair to tell him that you won't wait around forever. I stop short at recommending that you deliver an ultimatum, though.

Why?

Although many women would be tempted to say to a man they've been seeing for a few weeks or months, "Make me your girlfriend or else!", I believe that such ultimatums only serve to place you in a position of weakness. It really makes a woman look "desperate".

Your idea of giving him every reason--and opportunity--to choose you on his own is a much better idea than using "leverage tactics".

As far as *how* to make him choose you, that will depend on how well matched you are and how well you demonstrate to him that you are a rare, high quality woman that he would be foolish to let slip by him.

Most men have no problems committing to a women whom they believe is a great catch. As long as you have worked on making yourself that woman, then you should never settle for a man who does not appreciate that rare opportunity to be with someone like you.

Handle yourself with feminine grace, and show class at all times.

Show yourself to be a trustworthy woman who will not be forever "testing" him by flirting with other guys--especially right there in front of him. This is a major cause of boyfriends being unsure of committing to a woman...and rightly so.

Strangely though, men will almost never cite this fact as the reason why for fear of either appearing weak and/or starting an "unnecessary" argument.

Instead, they'll tend to simply keep the status quo...especially if the sex is good and the pressure is otherwise low.

Finally, realize that a man wants a woman who approves of him and is his greatest cheerleader when it comes to rooting for him to fulfill his life's purpose.

Women who can put aside the temptation to try to change a man (and Heaven forbid nag him to death about it) are exactly the ones who tend to attract a great man who is worthy of our respect.

And the beauty of that is you don't *have* to change a guy like that. You can be proud to have him in your life.

I wish you the best in your life.

Have fun,

Emily

I think just about every one of us has walked in Dana's shoes before.

Being the kind of woman who a truly terrific man chooses over all others changes your life. Instead of dating a string of "commitment phobic" men, you suddenly have men wanting to marry you rather soon after you meet them...maybe even after the first or second date!

Although I hope you aren't the type who would make a hasty decision and run off to Vegas with a guy you just met, these are indeed what we call "high quality problems" here at X & Y Communications.

And that's precisely what my new program Click With Him is devoted to.

One of the biggest reasons I've worked so hard to make Click With Him great is because my passion is to watch YOU become a woman who has complete control over her dating life...eventually meeting an amazing man who lights up your life and sharing a blissful future with him.

So far it includes over TWELVE HOURS of audio AND video on how to maximize high-quality womanhood so you can meet--and attract--the kind of man you want...without ever "settling".

Best of all, I show you exactly how you can even meet a great man ONLINE, like I did. I've even developed a 30-day plan for doing just that.

But whether you are online or not, I've stuck to my vision for making Click With Him the ultimate program for women who will settle for nothing less than deserving the greatest man they've ever met.

Is that you?

If so, then I'm sure you'll be thrilled by Click With Him.

Have Fun,

Emily McKay
©2008

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