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Is Friendship Possible After Breaking Up?

Breaking up can be just as emotionally charged as when you fell in love. Remember the passion? You could not wait to see, touch, talk or be with your significant other. Ok, now imagine the opposite. You cannot stand to see, touch, talk or be with your other half. Or maybe he feels this way about you.

"It is very tempting to say the words, "I'd like to stay friends", but take a moment and ask yourself if you really mean it. When a relationship ends, there is usually a reason. Most of us hope to soften the blow by playing the let's stay friends card. It is also a way to avoid having to state the real reason you want out" suggests Ashok, an expert on East Indian Dating.

If both you and your boyfriend are mature enough to realize the relationship has run its course it is pretty easy to have a "friendly" breakup. Unfortunately, this is not often the case. There are pro's and con's of trying to remain friends.

When being friends is a good idea:

  • You and your boyfriend agree to end the romantic relationship on good terms
  • The two of you agree to take time, say four to six months, where you do not have any contact to allow things to settle
  • You have children together. You will have to be civil for their sake
  • You work together, enough said
  • You have established boundaries together regarding new status in a non-romantic friendship

When being friends is a bad idea:

  • Your boyfriend was abusive or dangerous
  • Either one of you still harbors "romantic" fantasies about the other
  • You already have a new love interest
  • If trying to be friends will send mixed messages that will only prolong the end of the relationship

While it is possible to remain friends after breaking up, it depends on communication and maturity. If you are only saying it to soften the blow then be prepared for more drama from your ex-boyfriend. At some point, you will want to move on. Your new boyfriend probably will not appreciate your friendship with your ex, especially if it is only out of pity.

On last bit of advice, if you and your ex-boyfriend mutually decide to remain friends be careful about how and when you get together. Agreeing to both attend a mutual friend's party is pretty safe; just make sure you take separate cars. Getting together for drinks is a bad idea, especially if it has only been a short time since the break up. Nothing could be worse for your new attempt at friendship than waking up the next morning beside him in bed!

For more advice on Indian Dating Tips and Indian dating do's and don'ts visit www.indiandatingtoday.com

Indian Dating Today
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