I have used and worked for several dating sites, both free and paid.
I know Internet personals from A to Z.
And I came to realize that free dating sites were awfully expensive.

Want to know why?

First, free dating sites attract all types of rubbish: Nigerian scammers, Russian "mail order brides", and all types of unstable and wicked people that were banned from quality services. Those people have too much time on their hands (or it is their full-time Internet rip-off occupation) and this is why they don't mind to hang there.

On the other hand, since the website is free, they do not have much staff on hand to look after it, and check on possible scams. So scammers are free to go wild there.

Second, free dating sites usually make their revenue from the ads they show to their members. In other words, they aren't really interested in you actually FINDING someone on their site: they would rather have you frustrated and clicking on the ads you see on their site.

Another venue is selling your email address to mass-mailing companies, or running mass-mailings themselves. It means you risk being bombarded with hundreds of commercial emails, day after day.

Third, I find it appalling that a person cannot find some twenty bucks to pay for a subscription. As a woman, I want to KNOW that the guy I am talking to is at least capable of paying his own rent.

If I were a guy, I would also prefer a woman who is capable of looking after herself and doesn't think a man is there to provide for her.

Forth, the software on free sites is often inconvenient and the customer support sucks. I prefer things that work as they are supposed to.

Fifth, for a busy person like you and me, filtering through heaps of bogus profiles can be maddening. My time is valuable. I'd rather spend it meeting someone for coffee than talking to people that aren't even real.

On a paid dating site people have invested something in the process, so they are more serious and don't play games.

Sixth, for all the reasons outlined above, quality people tend to avoid free dating services. Their time is too valuable. If you want to meet a quality person, you are unlikely to meet them on free sites.

All in all, I have realized that using a free dating site is awfully expensive. I simply cannot afford it. It costs me more in time and effort, which I could use more productively - like running a dating coaching session, or writing an article.

I'd rather pay for subscription and have ten times less frustrations and ten times more results.

What about you?

Elena Solomon
©2008

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