I'm going to share with you a short email interview which I had conducted with a man who confessed he was a commitment-phobia. He wanted to know how he can go about restoring and renewing a loving relationship with his "former" lover.

During my initial interactions with him, I suddenly had the "inspiration" to do a short email interview with him in order to understand him and his situation better.

Since he was a self-proclaimed commitment-phobia, whatever he was feeling and going through could help many of our women readers understand the inner world and emotions of their men whom they think are commitment phobias.

I followed my "inner voice" to conduct a short interview with him via email and to my surprise he agreed graciously!

It turned out that this honest, sincere, no b.s. relevation from a man could give you some invaluable insights (whether you are a man or woman) about your own relationship!

NOTE: This is not an "example" or case study taken out from a textbook! This is an interview conducted with a real man and his sincere and truthful answers to my questions would be able to help us and a lot of people out there who ernestly seek to understand and know their committment-phobia partners and who are looking to make things work in their relationship!

Certain portions of the interview are edited to protect the privacy of this reader. Otherwise, his answers to the questions are ALL unedited, raw, and uncensored!

There are powerful lessons and insights to be learnt from just this interview alone even if your partner (man or woman) is not a commitment phobia ... so read on...

1) What do you think are the 3 most difficult issues you have to face while in your relationship with your woman?

• keeping love alive and not getting too "comfortable"
• merging families (issues with kids)
• finances

2) What can your woman do / say to get you to commit to a long term relationship? What can your woman do or say to get you to agree to engagement?

Convince me that she is still in love with me, that she doesn't have the same feelings for the guy she is dating / dated ...that it was just a casual thing, and that she really and truly does want to commit to only me if I am willing to do the same.

3) If you sincerely, seriously want to reconcile with the love of your life, what can she do or say to make it happen for both of you?

I guess just say that she doesn't want to give up on our relationship ... that she feels, as I do, that we were meant to be together and that there is nothing that can sever the bond of love that we have for each other.

4) Would you be able to commit should your woman agree to return to your side? If "yes", what would you do? If "no", why not?

Yes, I am ready and willing to put away my phobia and ask her for a long-term committment / marriage if that is still what she wants more than anything.

5) What are the 3 most important things you would like your lost lover to know, should you have a chance to pour your heart out to her.

This is a tough one! I guess I would tell her that I still believe within my heart that we always were meant to be together... that I feel totally responsible for our break-up, that I unconsciously pushed her away ... and that I still love her more than anything in the world and want us to fully commit to one another.

3 Powerful lessons to take away from this interview... Let's call this reader Mr X.

1) Our perceptions of reality are often colored and it is YOU who choose what you want to see in your relationship or marriage! If you have a commitment-phobia partner who is driving you "mad", it is useful to understand that during the time or moment when you feel you have an issue with your partner, realize that both of you could possibly be viewing reality on a different level, or what they often say being on a different frequency. That being said, notice what Mr X. says in his first sentence -"I truly do still love my woman and believe that we are meant to be together..." If you are Mr X., don't give up. Show her through your actions that she is wanted!"

2) Everyone of us are always trying to be the best we can be and taking the actions which we feel are best for all. But, we often forget that the very actions we feel are understandable might not be clear to others. Understand that your partner could well be cracking their brains hard to make the relationship work; but with the limited resources they have they might not be doing a good job in your eyes or that they may not be able to do it the way you want it! Whatever actions you want to take, BE the solution instead of seeking solutions from outside of yourself!

3) If you feel that YOU are a carbon copy of Mr X, realize that you could make the same mistake that he has made. Whether you are a man or a woman, what you THINK about your partner is a "premise" upon which your relationship circumstances are built. Whatever frustrations you are experiencing in your relationship or your life, they are likely "proving" and reinforcing something which YOU have thought about! So, if you treasure your loved one, don't take him or her for granted!!

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