Awesome sex isn't just for slender people. Society, of course, would try and convince you otherwise. The media bombards you with messages that you have to be slender and beautiful to have a great relationship. But a great relationship and the awesome sex to go with it has nothing to do with body size.

If you want awesome sex, you need to stop worrying about what you look like and start thinking about how you FEEL. Awesome sex is not about packaging. It's about feeling. When you obsess about appearances, you can't appreciate sensations.

Appreciating the sensations of lovemaking-the emotional and physical connections is what awesome sex is all about. The way to appreciate sensations is to make it your goal to create pleasure and fun in your sex life.

Here are five ways to create that pleasure and fun:

1. Remember That Judges Aren't Sexy-Okay, so maybe real judges can be sexy. But bringing judgmental ideas and attitudes into the sexual arena will NOT help you have great sex. Let go of criticism and perfectionism if you want to enjoy great lovemaking.

2. Turn Your Bed Into A Sandbox-No, not literally. But if you think of your lovemaking arena as a playground, you'll have a lot better sex. Having fun in bed is the key to great sex.

3. Be An Adventurer-Add variety to your sex life. Try fantasy role playing or game playing. Try different times, places, and ways of having sex. Don't stick to one lovemaking routine. It will get stale and definitely NOT sexy very fast.

4. Keep Your Hands On-Make the most out of your ability to touch and be touched. Use your hands as the magical sexual tools that they are. Don't just couple and be done with it. Explore your lover's body with your hands.

5. Take It Out Of The Bedroom-Have sex in as many different places as you can. Be sure you sexually "christen" every room of your home. Take lovemaking trips-little retreats with romance and sex as the main focus. Try sex in the car. Try sex in semi-public places (no, don't be lewd, but take a little risk now and then, like off the hiking trail in the woods or in a dressing room when no one is around).

If you follow these and other steps to having fun with your love, you'll find it much easier to keep your focus on feeling pleasure and keep your mind off of any physical shortcomings you may think you have. This switch in focus is a key to having awesome sex.

Andrea Rains Waggener & Nancy Anne Eltrich
©2006

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