There's someone out there for everyone. That's the theory anyway, whether you're professionals dating or retirees looking for love at local clubs. However, some people never seem to find their Mr Right, and some never even appear to try to look for him. Instead, they prefer to go for a string of men who are clearly all Mr Wrongs.

Mr Wrong

If you're still unsure who I'm talking about, let me introduce you to Mr Wrong. Mr Wrong seems flawless from the outset - usually good looking, confident and with a deadly skill for flirtation. However, the longer you're with him, the longer you begin to notice eradicable blemishes in his character - little jarring opinions, a hint of chauvinism, an urge to seek other female company, and generally something that doesn't quite sit right. However, his company is very addictive and you feel special when his attention's on you. Therefore it's all too easy to become stuck.

Mr Right

Now, Mr Right is less easily identifiable. He'll be well meaning, with solid and loyal morals. He'll be someone who's had a few previous long-term relationships and believes in commitment. But most importantly, he'll have that unquantifiable affinity with you - a certain compatibility in personal values and interests - that means he can become the best friend you'll ever have.

Bad diets

And why do women so often go for the wrong one? Well, it's rather like our food habits. Although we know celery is good for us, we still crave high-fat, sugar-heavy chocolate cake. Taking Mr Rights as celery and Mr Wrongs as chocolate cake, you can see where this analogy is heading. Often Mr Wrongs have many irresistible charms and good looks to draw us in and distract from their less appealing aspects. Mr Rights often hide under less dazzling aesthetics, and it can sometimes take a while for their true colours to come shining through.

How to tell

You'll probably just know if you're with Mr Right or not. Examine his character carefully. Is there anything you're particularly worried about there? Does he not quite tick every box? Are there a few parts of his character you wish you could change? Do your friends get on with him? Answers to these questions will soon tell you which 'Mr' you're currently dating.

Where to look

Where can you find Mr Right? Well, it's all about where you look. If you think about it, meeting someone in a club or a bar is a lottery. They could be anyone and, in all honesty, probably won't have the most honourable agenda. Instead, go for a more active approach, using dating websites, for example, to find like-minded people. Failing this, you could start a new exercise class or evening class and try to meet somebody there. Then you'll know these people share at least one interest with you even before you get to know them.

It's easy to get out of the Mr Wrong cycle - you just need to become aware of the problem. Try a new approach to dating and soon you'll have lots of Mr Rights to choose from.

Steve Davis
©2011

Show All Articles By Steve Davis