What to Do After An Affair
Part II of II Part Series
What happens when one partner learns that their partner has cheated? The most crucial step after a cheating incident has occurred is considering health concerns. The reason is that in addition to deeply hurting one's partner, the partner has now been exposed to the potential of a life threatening disease such as AIDS.
Even if a condom was used, there are no guarantees of complete safety. In fact, some STD's go on without detection. One such STD is the Human Papillomavirus, more commonly known as "genital warts."
The U.S. Dept. of Health stated the following: "Human Papillomavirus (HPV) is one of the most common causes of sexually transmitted infection (STI) in the world. Many people infected with HPV have no symptoms.
High-risk HPV may cause abnormal Pap smear results, and could lead to cancers of the cervix, vulva, vagina, anus, or penis." Considering the consequences, as soon as one discovers that a partner has cheated, they should be tested for various forms of STDs including AIDS.
Even if a partner says the other person is safe, automatically trusting their word is not in anyone's best interests. If the partner has already lied and cheated, trusting them with safety issues is incongruous.
When all is said and done, is saying I'm sorry enough? Unfortunately, many people believe, once a cheater, always a cheater and sadly, some people have a predilection for cheating. Saying I'm sorry may just be an attempt at going through the motions.
If that is the case, there is nothing the non-cheating person can do to stop their partner from cheating and therefore saying I'm sorry, is not enough. But if one is truly sorry for the indiscretion, and both agree to work on the marriage, seeking the expertise of a qualified counselor is paramount.
Because the pain of cheating runs very deep, in order to deal with painful feelings it is best to get the help of someone who can take the partners step by step through the healing process. Additionally, a counselor will be able to help the non-cheating partner determine whether or not an "I'm sorry," is enough to keep the relationship intact.
In short, maintaining a stable, happy relationship doesn't come easily or without work. One of the keys to a fulfilling relationship is making sure to keep the lines of communication open. To do so requires telling the truth and being willing to share real feelings.
To have a happy, successful relationship takes a great deal of patience, practice and persistence. Because there is nothing more precious than having another person in your life that you trust implicitly, working on the relationship is worth its weight in gold.
Learning together, laughing together and investing time together on a regular basis are the key components to a successful and long-lasting relationship. After all, faithfulness and loyalty to another person reaps its own unique rewards.
Here are a few resources to help your journey to a successful relationship:
Go To Part I - Will Saying 'I'm Sorry' Save a Relationship When One Partner Has Cheated?
Jaci Rae
©2006
Are you wary of making love to your husband for fear that he has slept with another woman or women and could be passing something on to you?
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