Recent ArticlesJanuary 08, 2012 08:00 AMHow to Get a Great Winter Look Tis the season to be jolly - and imaginative when it comes to staying fashionable. Bulky jumpers and unsightly hats tend to creep into the wardrobe at this time of year, practicality taking over to fight the colder weather.
The Metrosexual Man vs. The Cowboy - What Do Women Want?He always looks perfectly put together. He can be in a t-shirt and jeans or heading out to a black-tie event. His hair never has a bad day. His nails are clean and buffed. His clothes are perfectly pressed and exquisitely coordinated. He smells like flowers and spice. Is he gay? No, he's the new metrosexual man. As many of you know by now, the term "metrosexual" was coined by a journalist (and gay man) named Mark Simpson, to describe a new kind of urban male who is straight, but in touch with his feminine side and not afraid to show it. Essentially, metrosexuals are guys who take on behaviors and show an interest in things that have traditionally belonged in the female domain. You may have a metrosexual brother, male friend or boyfriend (ex). These are the guys you can shop till you drop with. They can discuss fashion, will notice your great new shoes, buy their grooming products from the same places you do and have no qualms about having a manicure, pedicure or facial. You can actually TALK to these guys about something other than sports, cars and other traditionally male interests. These are the guys you can take to the opera, symphony and ballet. The perfect man, right? Depends on whom you talk to. Haunted: Burying The Ghosts Of Lost LoveLate at night, as you read quietly, before you fall off to sleep... During a busy afternoon as you run through a crowd, hurrying back to your office or home.... Sitting in a movie theater, a restaurant or waiting for the light to turn... A sudden thought or image rises within you. It can come as a small nagging feeling or as a wave of emotion that threatens to overwhelm and drown you in the grief of a memory. Either way it's clear; here comes his/her ghost again. For those who are haunted by a past relationship, the instinctive response is often to run away from these feelings or to pretend they just aren't there. It is also not uncommon to react by setting your system on "anger mode" and seeing everything and everyone in a negative light. Shutting down all ability to handle even the simple routine tasks of daily life is another response, and one that signals depression. This one needs to be addressed quickly, as it can leave a trail of destruction in it's path. These defense mechanisms are employed as a way of coping and to "get through the day." However, when these responses become prolonged and ingrained, we can get stuck in the grieving process that accompanies loss. This is where the ghosts come in. All loss, especially the absence of someone with whom we were intimate, results in sadness, anger, denial, fear, depression and guilt. These feelings are normal. However, how we respond to them will make the difference in how well we recover and move on to a new and healthy life. In order to work through the grief and finally lay those ghosts to rest, you may need some help with the important do's and don'ts of grieving. The following is a basic primer to get you started. Things To Do: Acknowledge FeelingsDenial can provide a very short-term way to cope with loss, but will compound the bottling up of destructive feelings that need to find a healthy outlet for expression. Allowing yourself to feel, helps you to understand that what you are feeling is normal and therefore, you are not "crazy" or alone. It also opens the way to learning how to cope and move towards a positive resolution. Over time you will learn that feelings won't kill you, and that you are strong and able to confront them and move on. Express Anger Safely and ProductivelyFear of our own anger is normal. This is why we have so much difficulty expressing it to others. We imbue it with a power that is beyond our control and something that can only be destructive. Therefore, we stuff everything inside. Pressure builds and we explode, and out comes the "anger monster"; a creation of our own inability to deal with anger when it is at a lower, more manageable level. There are safe ways to express these feelings. Crying, talking to friends, writing down the feelings and even engaging in some physically demanding labor are all healthy ways to release your anger. Take Care Of YourselfThis seems to be one of the things we most neglect when loss strikes. Not caring for even basic needs is one of the faces of grief. It can also be a sign of a dangerous depression. Therefore, it has to be a priority. Basic needs are what usually require attention. These include: adequate sleep, eating right, taking care of minimal household and financial responsibilities and attention to personal grooming. In addition, exercise not only provides a great outlet for stress, it has been proven in clinical trials to be effective in lessening depression in a significant number of people. Regular exercise can also offer assistance to those who have difficulty sleeping and heightens self-esteem. Build and Strengthen Social SupportsA strong social support system is always important. During a time of extremes loss, it is vital to recovery. Do you have good, supportive friends? Do they have time and energy that they can offer to you during this period of grieving? What about religious ties? A church, temple or other community of like-minded believers? Do you have good support from any family members? What about organizations that you have participated in and given your time and energy to? Can they now give something back to you? These are a few of the supports that you can turn to. Make sure you PLAN well for weekends, holidays and other significant days. Let people know you want to get together and that you want to get out regularly and stay active and involved. This allows others to offer their support and remember to include you in group activities, etc. Give Yourself TimeGetting over the loss of someone you love takes time. It is a process. It doesn't take "forever." You will move on and recover. But beware of that feeling that is often expressed of "I don't know what's wrong with me, it's been months and I'm still not over it." The months SEEM like forever, but you know they are a relatively short period of time. You need to give yourself that time or run the strong risk of getting stuck for (perhaps years) in the quicksand of grief. Set Realistic GoalsThis is a time to prioritize and decide what you most want and need and to make a realistic plan for achieving it. Goals will keep you focused and on-track. They will provide a compass as you navigate your way to a new life. They will help you to achieve success and to boost your self-esteem. This achievement will help you to feel strong and capable of beginning a new life. Things To AvoidWhen enveloped in grief and loss, we have to be careful not to respond in dysfunctional ways. Some classic examples of poor coping behaviors include: overuse of alcoholuse of illegal drugs ignoring signs of serious depression sexual acting out recklessness with finances ignoring basic safety and placing self in risky situations These are all the result of low self-esteem, guilt and feelings of hopelessness. With good supports and the utilization of healthy ways to express feelings, you will be at far less risk of using these self-injurious behaviors. Remember, we must be willing to accept grief as a possible price of experiencing love. Many, many people have gone through the process of loss and despair and come out strong, whole and ready for a new life. Along the way, they often come to know themselves better and to understand what they most need and want from their relationships. Armed with this new experience and knowledge they are then ready to form new, healthy and lasting relationships. Holiday Shoppers-don't Go Into Debt This Year-set A Budget For Everyone On Your ListSince consumers go into debt each year during the holidays, finding a way to stay within your shopping budget crucial. Setting a budget for everyone on your shopping list makes this easier by assigning an amount to each person. The following paragraphs will discuss this great way to avoid overspending. Setting your "mini-budget" Let's say for example, your holiday budget for this season is $500.00 and you have 10 people to shop for. If you take the amount of your budget, $500.00 and divide it by the number of people on your list, which is this case is 10, that gives you $50.00 to spend per person. This "mini-budget" of $50.00 per person helps put into perspective how much you can reasonably spend without going over your total available spending cash. 500 Lovemaking Tips & Secrets
In addition to the hundreds of ideas, 500 Lovemaking Tips & Secrets also includes a section of the 10 Most Common Lovemaking Positions (and 6 more for the adventurous and athletic) along with explanations of the benefits of each one, and a Lubrication Guide that gives you the pros and cons of those on the market. Yes, there will be tips and suggestions if you will be making love for the very first time. Likewise, you will find discover amazing new techniques even if you are the most seasoned lover. There are many tips and creative suggestions on performing the most incredible oral sex that will drive your partner absolutely insane. I'll share special places and ways to touch, tickle, stroke and lick that most people never, ever think of. You will discover which moves and positions are the best for the opposite sex. Find out which ones allow for the deepest penetration and which ones are fantastic for g-spot and clitoral stimulation. You can learn more by reading this material than it takes most people dozens of years (and often dozens of partners) to learn. You can read it in the privacy of your own home or office. Best of all, 500 Lovemaking Tips & Secrets was written by a relationship expert who knows that just because it feels good or is exciting doesn't means it is good for you. It is advice you can trust completely. Here are just a few of the tips you will enjoy in 500 Lovemaking Tips & Secrets:
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